Taking a Smoking Break... For Non-Smokers

I recently read a study about mice. During experiments, every so often, mice simply stop in one place and lick their paws for a while. The researchers had no idea why this was, until one creative gee-whiz thought of using brain scans on those mice.

He discovered a surprising thing. There was some serious activity going on in the mouse's brain. In fact, it was replaying backwards its recent activities, reinforcing the neural pathways.

In other words, it was learning.

Humans taking breaks

Humans experience the exact same phenomenon. No, we don't lick our hands every few minutes. I'm talking about the "taking-break-to-learn" part. Ever tried doing mental work for two hours without a break? It's not easy. It's not hard either. It's flat out impossible. It's like trying to go without sleep for two weeks, or like holding your breath for half an hour. Your body just won't let you do it.

Your body will force a break, no matter how hard you resist.

The break is needed to process and sort information. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't recognize this natural break, and instead try to force themselves harder. They try to overcome the natural mechanism, and end up being tired and unproductive.

Often it's others who force us to work hard without breaks. Especially at school or in the workplace. But there's one group of people that has managed to escape this pressure.

Smokers.

Smokers get to take a break every 90 minutes or so. Incidentally, that's about as often as your body requires a long, 20-minute break. You also need shorter, 2-3 minute breaks every 15 minutes, but you can sneak those in almost anywhere. Plus, those shorter breaks are good to have, but not essential - you can voluntarily skip them.

Taking a smoking break

I'm a non-smoker. I don't recommend you start smoking just to be able to take smoking breaks. (Though you might try pretending. Maybe go take a break with other smokers, stick a cigarette in your mouth, but don't light it? Anyone tried that?).

But I do recommend you take regular smoking breaks, every 90 minutes or so. There are several clear benefits of taking a smoking break:

1. You will be more relaxed

2. Your concentration will improve

3. You will accomplish more

Just recognize your body's natural need, and go with it. The benefits are worth it.

Shorter smoking breaks

During brain-intensive work, you need more than the long 20-minute breaks. You also need short smoking breaks of 2-3 minutes as well. A classic example is learning.

When you're learning something new, take a 2-3 minute break every 15 minutes. You won't believe the difference it makes.

When I first heard about this, I talked to a friend, a brilliant Othello player (Othello's similar to chess). He told me: "Well that's interesting. After every practice game, I just sit around for a few minutes and chat before starting the next game." A clear example of a smoking break improving learning.

You too can leverage this to learn much faster and better. In fact, I've got a post on that topic coming up. Stay tuned.

So remember, next time you're just sitting there with your eyes closed (without a cigarette nearby), taking your 20 minutes of rest, and someone asks why you're slacking off, tell them the truth. "I'm taking a smoking break. You should too. Join us. Don't be afraid. It's good for you." (Try adding wide open eyes and a big grin. They won't disturb you again anytime soon.)

The Greatest Life Lesson I Learned From Playing Poker

Photo courtesy of liasterkenburg

It was a game of Texas Hold 'em. I was holding a pair of kings. After a fairly uneventful beginning, the flop came. An ace, a king and a queen (not matching colors). I just made trips. I bet, and got raised by one other player. All others had already folded by that point. We raised to the max (4 raises). The next card out was a 7. The one after was a queen. I just made a full house. Me and the other player both bet as much as we could. Then we both showed our cards.

He was holding a pair of aces. I lost.

And you know what? If the next hand I held the same cards, and the same cards came on the table, I would have bet again. And if the hundred next hands looked the same, I would have bet. (okay, if it really happened a hundred times in a row, I would have become suspicious. But you get the point)

Because in poker, you never know what your opponents are holding. You only know your own cards, the cards on the table, and the betting.

You simply have to decide on the best play in a given situation. If the odds are 60-40 in your favor, bet. If your opponent gets lucky, that happens. No need to worry. Your decision to bet was still correct.

So here's the Greatest Life Lesson I learned from playing poker:

In the moment, make the best decision based on your available information. Then forget about it and move on.

Just make the best decision in the moment. Then you have nothing to regret. If it turns out you made a mistake, just treat it as a learning opportunity.

It's the difference between saying:

1. "I shouldn't have done that."


2. "Next time I will do it differently."

Read those two sentences again, and really understand the different mindset. It's the key to living at peace with your past.

Let's say you decide to cook yourself chicken wings with peanut butter. It seems like a good idea at the time. Then you find out it tastes like crap. No regrets, it seemed like a good idea. So you throw away the food.

Again, no regrets. In the moment, the choice was between eating crappy food or throwing it out. You made the right choice.

And finally, extract the lesson from it. As in "Damn, that was disgusting! I'll never make chicken wings with peanut butter again."

Why I don't play poker anymore

I have a friend who earns his living playing poker. He spends two hours each night playing online poker.

In other words, a 14-hour work week.

When I first heard about it, of course I wanted to be like him. Who wouldn't want to earn a good living in just 14 hours weekly.

But I later realized I don't feel good earning my living like that. Mostly because it's win/lose. In order for me to win, somebody else has to lose.

I have since changed my attitude to earning money. I now focus on one key principle:

Provide value to others.

There's no way you will be poor if you consistently provide value to others. It doesn't matter if you don't immediately see a way to make money from it (like my blog). It will eventually come back to you. Call it karma if you wish.

That being said, I don't regret having played poker. Because at the time, it seemed to be the right decision.

So remember, make the best decision in the moment, and then move on.

5 ways to enjoy the present moment

Imagine you want to eat a peach. But you decide to wash the dishes before you reward yourself with the peach. As you wash the dishes, you will be thinking about the peach. But what will you be thinking about when you eat the peach?

The concept of enjoying the present moment is contained in all traditional philosophies, as well as modern psychoanalysis. There's a simple reason for enjoying the present moment. You can't exactly enjoy the past or the future. Vividly imagined or remembered events are good stuff. They're nice. But they totally fade in comparison with really enjoying the present moment.

Enjoy the peach. And worry about later when later becomes now.

5. Smell it, buddy, smell it

Richard Feynman told of how he came upon the subject of smelling. He heard from a friend that people are a lot better at it than they think. So he proposed his wife a little experiment. In her room, there was a shelf with old books she hadn't touched in a while. Feynman would go out for two minutes, she would take a book off the shelf, hold it in her hands and then put it back. Feynman would then come back in and try to figure out which book she took by smelling them.

He got it right.

He then later got three of his friends to try a similar experiment. Each of the friends would touch a book, and Feynman would try which friend handled which book. He got it right again.

Of course, after hearing this story, I had to try it myself. I got a friend to try it with. We both took turns going out of the room as the other held one book in their hands. We both got it right on our first try.

As Feynman said, the books that haven't been handled in a while have a dry, uninterested smell. But the one that has been touched, it has a sort of moist smell. More alive.

I definitely encourage you to try the same experiment. It's silly, it's fun, and at the same time it's quite amazing.

I also sometimes thoroughly smell other things when I feel like it. Ever tried smelling your computer screen? A glass of mineral water? A fresh newspaper? An old newspaper? Try it, it's fun.

4. Look around you. No, really look.

Have you ever seen a child completely absorbed in observing things around them? Like looking at ants scurry around with their big-ass white eggs. Children can watch such simple things for hours on end. Children are naturally very present-minded. It's only later, as adult worries set in, that we forget how to.

Look around you now. Notice every little thing. The little dents and scratches on your desk. The smudges on your computer screen. Every little detail.

I don't recommend checking out everything all-day long with such thoroughness. But you can allow yourself a couple of minutes each day.

3. Listen to your surroundings

Take a moment to listen to all the little noises in your environment. Your computer fan whirring. Sounds of people talking. The distant sound of traffic. The little squeaks and groans of your chair as you shift your weight.

Listening to everything around you is especially beneficial when you're out in nature. You can really enjoy the sounds there (singing birds sound better than honking cars).

2. Use your peripheral vision

It's amazing how much you can see while looking straight ahead. It's almost a full hemisphere. Of course you can't quite see things that aren't directly in front. Try picking some object right at the edge of your vision, and then guess its colour.

Your colour vision stops past a certain point. After that, your brain adds in the colour based on educated guessing. Even further than that, you can only see objects if they move. If they stay still, you have no idea they're there.

Try finding the edge of your peripheral vision. Put your hand at the side of your head where you can't see it. Wiggle your forefinger. Now slowly move it forward, until the moment you just start to see it. That's where you eyesight starts.

I also heard that focusing on your peripheral vision helps if a song gets stuck in your head. Definitely worth trying.

1. Use your senses in unusual ways

I've already discussed this in one of my articles. So check it out for more detail. The short explanation is - do common routine things in uncommon ways. Like brushing your teeth with your other hand. Or taking a shower with your eyes closed (during the whole process).

There are restaurants where you eat in complete darkness. It has an amazing effect. With your eyesight short-circuited, you notice sensory input you never noticed before. Even simple white yogurt becomes a symphony of great tastes. It also helps they name the foods like "blue sky". It's a lot of fun to eat that way.

You can use the same effect. Just tie a piece of cloth around your eyes as you do your normal daily tasks. You wouldn't believe how much fun such simple things as walking around can become.

###

Week at a glance

This week I read a great article called 4 Powerful reasons to up your enthusiasm, and how to do it. I personally know a few extremely enthusiastic people. They're a joy to be around.

So I figured I'd do a 7-day trial of being totally enthusiastic myself. And I mean really enthusiastic. As in Lil-Jon-enthusiastic or FPS_Doug-enthusiastic. I'll post in a week, next saturday, on how it went.

5 simple ways to increase your happiness

There are a thousand and one takes on how to achieve happiness. Below, I share with you 5 simple ways to quickly increase your happiness. I use most of them myself every day (except point 4, I use that one every two days).

1. Breathe

If you don't breathe, you won't be happy. Really. In fact, studies show that 100% of all happy people breathe.

Ok, now for real. Breathing properly is a lot more important than most people think. Good breathing is deep and very, very sloo-o-o-ow.

Try it right now. First exhale all the air in your lungs. Do it slowly, we're in no hurry.

Now breathe in very slowly. Start filling your lungs from the bottom up. At the beginning, your stomach should bulge out a bit (this shows you're breathing with your diaphragm). Try shifting your position in your chair a bit. Maybe pull your shoulders back. See what lets you breathe in more air.

And then exhale. Ideally, you would exhale for twice as long as you inhale. It allows proper gas exchange in your lungs.

Take 5 deep breaths now. Take your time, I can wait.

2. Express gratitude

I say thanks for all the good things in my life every evening. I don't believe in God, but I found that saying thanks still works. It doesn't matter who you thank. You could thank the God, or your life, or Linus Torvalds, or real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.

Gratitude focuses you on the positive things in your life. Then you not only get more happiness out of them, you also get more positive things in your life. What you focus on you get more of. I'm not sure why it works, but it does.

Try it right now. Find 10 things in your life you can say thanks for. Depending on your surroundings and comfort level, you can think it silently in your head, whisper it, or say it out loud. For extra happiness points, you can sing the thanks out loud to the tune of your favorite italian opera (what do you mean you don't have a favorite italian opera?).

I'll start you off: Thanks for having a broadband internet connection. Thanks for having all ten fingers. Thanks for...

3. Express gratitude to other people

It's incredible how a small action or a few words can make somebody's day.

I remember one memory back from my childhood. I was sitting down in a tram. An old grandma came in, so I stood up to let her sit. She was so happy she almost started crying.

You too can do small things to make people happy. For example you can send money to your favorite blogger (wink wink). (I only accept checks mailed by pigeon post. Or alternately, you can give me your credit card number - using smoke signals)

You can also simply use words. The art of saying thanks or complimenting someone is quite simple. Be honest and sincere.

4. Exercise

You probably hear this one all the time. If you already exercise, you can skip to the next point. If you don't, I'll share with you the simplest yet quite effective way to exercise.

All you need is a watch. Now, do push-ups for thirty seconds. Then rest for thirty seconds. Then do push-ups for thirty seconds and so on, until you can't continue.

Once you can't do any more push-ups (it might even be during the first thirty seconds), substitute a different exercise. It can be sit-ups, or squats.

The point is to really get your heart pumping. That will help you achieve most of the benefits of exercising.
Of course, exercising is hard simply because it's not fun. That's why I prefer to combine exercising with the next point. I get most of my exercise in fun ways - like basketball, parkour, or rock-climbing.

5. Do fun things - just because

I repeatedly find that I have the most fun when I stop taking myself seriously. Whether it's getting up to sing karaoke or trying to balance walking on the edge of a curb.

Sometimes we get caught up in being too serious in our lives. We feel we should be doing things because they're useful. Anything that isn't useful isn't worth doing. Of course this state of mind leads to depression and workaholism.

"An ideal day consists of 8 hours work, 8 hours play and 8 hours rest."
- Benjamin Franklin

Do you get 8 hours of play each day? Play is basically anything you do for its own sake. You do it because you feel like it - just because.

I wrote a blog post about a related topic - The REAL reason we use Linux - it's about the fact that we geeks use Linux for the fun of it. We don't really use it because it's secure, or free, or all the other commonly cited reasons. We mainly use it simply because we enjoy tinkering with our system - just because.

Give yourself permission to do fun things. You don't need anyone's approval. Just do fun useless things. Just because.

Outro

You all lived happily ever after.

Read Minds and Lift Your Mood - Body Language Basics

I was sitting with two friends at a dinner table. The talk turned to body language, and how it affects your mood. I proposed a simple experiment, which the others accepted.

So I put that cheesy-ass American grin on my face. One of my friends put a frown on his face. And the third one simply behaved normally.

Over the next couple of minutes, the wildest thing happened. I started having the time of my life. I was joking around, laughing, enjoying myself. The friend with the frown became grumpy and pissed. He eventually left early.

The only downside for me was that after holding that cheesy American grin for about 15 minutes, my mouth kinda hurt. But I was laughing anyway.

Everybody knows your mental state affects the way you hold your body. An unhappy depressed person will slouch and look at the ground. But some people don't realize the opposite is also true. It's a feedback mechanism. Putting your a smile on your face will make you feel happier.

Good news! You can consciously change your body language. Which means you can indirectly change your mood too.

Lift Your Mood

Try the following experiment:

1. Think of a thought or situation that mildly worries you.

2. Notice your body language. (Slouched shoulders? Maybe a frown? Shallow breathing? Anything else?)

3. Stop right there! Pull your shoulders back. Lean back. Lift your head. Now take three deep slooo..o...oow breaths. One..... Twoo..... Threeee. Now put a huge teeth-flashing smile on your face.

4. Keeping this posture, think the same worrying thought as before. The chances are, it doesn't seem so bad anymore. You simply can't feel too worried if you're holding your body confidently and grinning at the world.

5. Optionally, keep that grin on your face for 3 minutes. It will make your day.

The 80/20 rule

The 80/20 rule says you should focus on the 20% of your effort which generates 80% of the results. Body language falls squarely in that category. It's very simple to change, yet it creates a dramatic difference in how you feel.

Change other people's perception of you

Did you know that only 7% of what we communicate is words? 25% is voice tone and a whopping 68% is body language.

It makes sense that changing you body language vastly changes how others perceive you.

There are some things to do, and a couple of things to avoid.

Good body language to do:

1. Keep your legs shoulder-width apart when standing
Keeping you legs too close (like most people do) shows you don't have much confidence. Keeping them too far apart is try-hard. That also communicates lack of inner confidence.

2. Hold your shoulders back
Stand up straight, holding your head high. Now pull your shoulders up around your neck, really tense. Now relax the shoulders, and let them fall in a comfortable relaxed position. That's where you want to keep them.

3. Lift your chest
Stand with your legs shoulder-width apart. Imagine there's a silver thread running from the front of your chest up into the sky. Now imagine that silver thread starts pulling your chest up. That's what I mean.

4. Lean back
This applies mostly when sitting down. Leaning back communicates you're cool and not needy. Just lean back comfortably and speak a bit louder.

5. Hold your head up high
This was a big one for me personally. I used to walk around looking at the ground. Nowadays I look at the scenery or look people in the eyes when walking. It's amazing, but when you look up at the scenery and horizon, even a simple walk to the grocery store looks like a scene from a movie. Next time you walk somewhere, notice the buildings and the sky. See how that feels different from where you normally look.

Bad body language to avoid:

1. Slouching
This is a really bad one. Not only does it make you look weak and unconfident, it's also bad for your health. It constricts your chest, making your breathing fast and shallow. That alone is enough to make you feel miserable.
2. Fidgeting
Moving the whole time is a sign of nervousness. Others can really feel it.

Read minds

When I first started learning about body language several years ago, I had no idea how the people I was talking to were feeling. I couldn't tell if they were enjoying the conversation or were bored out of their minds.

Now I can tell exactly how the conversation is going by little nuances in the other person's facial expression. Real mind reading to some people.

If you're at a point in your life yourself where you have no clue about body language, that's cool. We've all been there. Below I share some of the most basic and easily noticeable body language cues.

1. Folded arms

This universally means the person is being cold, defensive, and stand-offish. It's why you often see bodyguards standing like this.

Let's say you're standing in a group of people. If someone has folded arms, chances are they're not having fun. You might also see them looking around and if you look at their feet...

2. Feet

Feet are a great body language cue. It's completely unconscious, but very obvious once you look for it. Look which direction the person's feet are pointing. If they're both pointed towards the rest of the group, they're interested in the conversation.

If one of their feet is pointing towards the exit, it means they would rather be somewhere else. People also often point one of their feet at the person in the group they're most interested in.

3. Eye contact / looking around

This one's a little bit more subtle than the previous two, but still pretty easy to notice. If a person is looking around a lot, it means they're looking for something more interesting. If, on the other hand, their eyes seem glued to the person they're talking to, they find the person very interesting.

Changing you body language

You have enough information now to make some basic changes in your body language. Don't worry if you don't get it quite right.

It took me personally about a week until I figured out the natural confident state. During that first week, I held my chest too high and out, my shoulders too far back, I was leaning back too much. In short, I looked completely ridiculous for a week.

I figured a week of looking ridiculous was a small price to pay for subsequent years of good body language. And boy, was I ever right.

Another view of body language

To finish off, I'll present you another school of thought about body language.

This school of thought believes changing your body language isn't enough. Body language is, after all, just a representation of your inner state. You should instead notice your body language, figure out what that means about your inner state and then work on that.

For example, let's say you find yourself fidgeting nervously. Instead of just making yourself stop in the moment, you would ask yourself what you're feeling nervous about. Then you would go and do something about that.

Changing your body language is a quick fix. Taking care of the cause means you don't need to worry about changing your body language. It will become naturally confident once you remove all inner game issues.

Whichever approach you adapt, good luck.

The Power of Your Self-image

The term self-image was coined by Dr Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon. He discovered a very interesting phenomenon while working with his patients. With most of them, when the plastic surrery was finished, it helped them immensely. They became calmer and happier, literally a new person. Getting rid of the facial problem helped remove their psychological problems too.

Yet some people didn't feel any different after the operation, no matter how spectacular the changes on the outside. Even though they woke up with an absolutely beautiful face, they still insisted that they were ugly. Dr Maltz called these people "scarred on the inside".

He did some research and experiments, and discovered that everyone carries around an image of themselves inside their head. He came up with a visualization technique to change one's self-image, which he then taught this to his patients along with the plastic surgery. To his delight, it often did more to improve the patients' self-esteem than the actual surgery.

You too can achieve spectacular changes in your life through changing your self-image.

A poor self-image is like chaining a huge lead ball to your foot. It places artificial limitations upon you. This fact has been realized by top athletes and sports teams for years. Visualization is today used by all top athletes to improve performance. They can't allow themselves to place artificial limitations upon themselves - and neither should you.

Self-image guides your actions

Your self-image is like an airplane's automated guidance system. You can consciously override it and act as you want. But whenever you stop focusing on your actions, your automated guidance system, the self-image, takes over.

Although you can act as you choose, most of the time your subconscious mind runs the show. This is where your self-image takes over. It often means you sabotage your conscious attempts
to achieve things, only to be consistent with your poor self-image.

Your self-image is basically the total sum of all your beliefs about yourself. Most of them are unconscious and were programmed into you during your childhood. The trouble is that a lot of the beliefs are less than helpful.

The average western parent criticizes their child 8 times for every time they praise them. No wonder a lot of people develop a negative self-image that prevents them from achieving their best in life.

In professional running, there was a barrier for several years called the four-minute mile. Runners didn't seem able to run a mile in under four minutes, no matter how hard they tried. Some athletes even started believing that a human would explode if he ran a four-minute mile.

Then, one day, a man ran a four-minute mile. In the next month, dozens of athletes managed the same. Over the next year, over a hundred people ran a mile in under four minutes.

They had all held a belief that running a mile under four minutes isn't possible. It took one man to show them the truth and shatter that negative self-belief. They could have run the four-minute mile all along, but their poor self-image was preventing them from doing so.

Correcting your negative self-beliefs

The first step is to find negative beliefs you hold about yourself. Then either get rid of them, or replace them with positive beliefs.

The trouble with finding your negative self-beliefs is that most of them are subconscious. In fact, your mind goes to great lengths to protect your ego, and hides your negative self-beliefs from you.

Many high-achieving individuals have a poor self-image. They try to make themselves feel better by making more money, being more famous or having a hotter girlfriend. Yet on the inside they still feel inadequate. They are driven to achieve more, only to try to prove to themselves they aren't as unworthy as they feel on the inside.

I have been there myself. The worst thing about it is that one doesn't even realize that he has a poor self-image. For many years I went on living thinking I was doing fine (while feeling bad most of the time - but I didn't realize that since I had no base of comparison). I had held negative beliefs about myself and I had absolutely no idea they were even there.

Thankfully I stumbled across some self-help materials. In those I found a lot of methods for discovering my negative self-beliefs. I have since then done a lot of research and talked to many people, and discovered the most effective techniques for finding your own negative self-beliefs. I share these techniques with you below.

Finding your negative self-image

One thing our mind does to protect our ego is to pretend that the opposite of our negative self-beliefs is true. So a person who feels poor on the inside might work hard, get a big house, a new car and buy expensive jewelery. Yet they will still feel poor on the inside.

Similarly a hooligan might shout at people and act all strong and tough. In reality he will be compensating for feeling weak and helpless on the inside. Real strength looks like James Bond, not like a hooligan.

Thus, the first method for finding your negative self-beliefs...

1. Find where you compensate for inner beliefs

It's important to remember you're only compensating for your negative self-beliefs, not for who you actually are. So if you find that one of the beliefs you compensate for is "I'm a loner", it doesn't mean you are. It means you hold that negative belief, and acknowledging that you hold the belief is the first step towards letting go of it.

I'd like you to ask yourself the following questions and write down the answers to find where in your life you compensate for negative self-beliefs:
- What is it that you want people to notice about you first?
- If your life were trying to prove something about you, what would it be?

It is important that you take time and write down the answers. This lets you put the negative beliefs down on paper, instead of letting them hide in your subconscious mind. You can then tackle them more easily.

When I first asked myself those questions, I found some interesting things. I had read some books about body language and what confident posture looks like. Upon performing this exercise, I realized I was overdoing the body language. I was compensating for my feeling of not being a confident person. I was walking a bit too upright, my shoulders pushed back and my chest pushed out a little bit too much. Try-hard, if you will.

I also noticed that I didn't feel the need to compensate for things I felt confident about. I was great at mathematics (and still am), but I didn't feel the need to go and tell everyone I met.

Another thing we do with our negative self-beliefs is turning them outwards. We hate those bad things we believe might be true about us, but instead of hating ourselves (or rather who we believe we are), we turn our hate towards others. This is called projection.

2. Find what traits your are projecting onto others

Projection has two opposite sides, like a coin. On one hand, we hate people who have traits that we fear might be true about ourselves. On the flip side, we idolize people who have traits we wish we had.

For example you might idolize a person who is great at public speaking. This would mean your negative self-belief is that you will never be a good public speaker. This negative belief prevents you from getting out there and working on becoming one, so instead you idolize someone who has that trait.

I'd like you to write down answers to the following:
- Who is your least favorite person and why?
- Who do you idolize, and what do you like about them?

When someone does this exercise for the first time, the natural tendency is to go "But of course those things aren't true about me! That's ridiculous!". I had the exact same reaction myself. But deep down it kept bugging me, and over the next few days I realized that the things I hated most about the person were exactly what I feared had been true about me all along.

Getting rid of your negative beliefs

Dr. Paul Dobransky describes beliefs as data that's superglued to the floor of our mind with emotion. The difference between any odd idea and a belief is the emotional part. This is what makes beliefs hard to change.

Our beliefs have a way of clumping together in our minds. Firstly, a new belief is formed and sticks to the floor of our mind. Then, whenever supporting evidence arises, it attaches itself onto this belief. Over time, the belief grows into a huge mass that exerts strong influence over our mind.

Psychotherapy gets rid of your negative beliefs by severing the emotional connection. It cuts off the superglue that holds the belief to the floor of your mind, and the whole mass can be then lifted off easily. The technique used is called EMDR and can be only done by a licensed therapist. You can find one in your local area if you want.

Another way to get rid of the negative self-belief is to start a positive self-belief instead and build it up until it's bigger than the negative belief. If someone called you and told you you have to pay
€ 250, 000 you'd likely get hit pretty hard. On the other hand if he told you "You have won €1,000,000 in a lottery. Oh, and by the way, you have to pay a €250,000 tax." you wouldn't worry too much. The difference here is that the large positive impact of the million far outweighs the inconvenience of having to pay two hundred and fifty thousand 250,000.

If you build up your positive belief to the point that the clump in your mind becomes far bigger than the old negative belief, the negative belief will break off bit by bit end eventually fall away completely.

The trick is to plant the positive belief and then clump on loads of supporting evidence instead of waiting for evidence to happen. Although the belief might feel weak and shaky at first in the shadow of that huge blob of negativity, it will soon become the dominant belief.

Here's what I'd like you to do right now.

1. For each of your negative self-beliefs write down a corresponding positive belief you would like to replace it with. (For example "I am weak and helpless" -> "I am strong and powerful")

2. Next find 5 times in your life when the positive belief had been true. In the above example you maybe stood up to someone or spoke your mind despite facing disapproval. Write down those five occurrences next to each of your positive beliefs (a short bullet point to remind you of the
incident is enough)

3. This last step will be done when you can take some twenty minutes to relax comfortably. In the evening before going to sleep is ideal.

Go over the list of your positive self beliefs and the incidents to support them. Pick the first incident. Close your eyes and lie down comfortably. Go back in your mind to the time where the positive belief about you had been true. Watch yourself go though the incident.

Now step into yourself. See the memory through your own eyes, hear it through your own ears and relive all the feelings associated with it.

Next, turn up the intensity of the memory. Make the colours brighter, the sounds louder and the feelings stronger. You might want to add a soundtrack to the memory to make the emotions even stronger.

Let it really sink in to you that this is who you are.

Now repeat the process with one incident for each of your positive beliefs, or more than one if you wish.

If you want, you can also turn your new positive beliefs into affirmations. This step is optional, but it makes a huge difference when done right. There is a special way to phrase affirmations, and I will discuss them in a future post.

Enjoy your new positive self-image and what it brings to your life. Experience your own "four-minute mile".